Say what you like, but he’s no longer mad.
He only seemed fierce because I was an unruly thing.
He explained it all once I was fully grown.
“Alice,” he said, “you lack discipline.
A spanking, here and there
(you naughty girl)
should do the trick.”
It works, you know;
we’re right as rain these days.
I even get to wear a hat and pour the tea.